Agent Orrange's Words of Wisdom and other assorted Quotible Quotes

You can fool some of the people some of the time and jerk the rest off. --Robin Williams

Fifteen huge strong guys are no match for a midget with a machine gun. --JD Jones

Support Darwinian evolution, crush a weakling today.

Don’t take life too seriously, your not getting out of it alive. --self

All we are is what we’re told and most of that’s been lies. --Goo Goo Dolls

All porno movies should have the same title. “Shit that will NEVER happen to you. with women you will NEVER be with. Doing things you NEVER thought of. In places you can’t quite reach.” --platapus Man

To die never having had a psychedelic experience is like dying without having sex.” --terence McKenna

If there’s nothing wrong with me maybe there’s something wrong with the universe. --Beverly Crusher

All great truths begin as blasphemies. --George bernard Shaw

...until the end of time (which is currently 2028 for Unix) --Eric Ziegast (

A sufficently advanced technology is indistinguishible from magic. --Arthur C. Clark

Once again a knife weilding maniac has shown us the way. --Bart Simpson

I went to join the revolution but I couldn’t find a parking space. --Christopher Lavin

When the only tool you have is a hammer every problem looks like a nail. --Todd Rundgren

If you think there’s a solution your part of the probelum. --Bill Griffith

i maybe cool Beavis but I can’t change the future. --Butthead

the road to hell is paved with melting snowballs. --L.Wall

Every gun that is made, every warship that is launched, every rocket fired...signifies in the final sense a theft from those who are hungry and not feed. Cold and not clothed. --Dwight D. Eisenhower

The BAD me thinks things will get better. Then GOOD me knows better. --baby sue

The necktie is a serpentlike symbol of evil worn by the humales. --from an xist space transmission intercepted by the US Navy 1960

Stretch forth thy hand from on high and me from the many waters, from the hands of aliens, whose mouths speak lies, and whose right hand is the hand of falsehood. --Psalms 144:7

Time sure flys when your young and jerkin off. --Jim Carroll

(The wound) is not as wide as church doors nor as deep as a well, but it shall suffice. --Mercutio

There must have been a time, probably somewhere near the beginning where we could have just said no. --Rosencratz and Guildstern are dead

I think they’re the tools of the devil. I believe there are some darker forces pulling their strings and they scare me. --Marilyn Manson talking about Hanson

Remember to get your whole head in front of the shotgun. Thanks for calling. --Dennis Leary

once a day and twice a life i met Christ.
(JESUS! if my heart didn’t jump into my chest..)
--EE Cummings

Back in the middle ages people had their eyes gouged out, anvils dropped on their chest, hot pokers stuck in their ears and that was just if they liked you. We’re all gunna die someday, I’m just tryin to make interesting gettin there. --Stephen King

So just drop dead!/ Leave me alone!/ Call me....../I’ll be by the phone. --Some chick comedian

In the immortal words of Socratees `I drank what?!”

I shall die but that is all I will do for death. --Edna St. Vincent Millay (Conscientious Objector)

Mary took a drop out of a hotel room/ Bobby hung himself from his cell in the tomb/ Judy jumped in front of a subway train/ Eddy got slid in the juggular vein/ Eddie I miss you more then all the others, this song is for you my brother...They were all my friends and they died.
--jim carroll band “people who died”

Though the wheels of justice are slow to turn they grind exceedingly small.

I hate you but you hate yourself too, I hate to be honest but I’d hate to be you. --bloodhound gang “shutup”

Life is journey not a destination
--Aerosmith “Livin on the Edge”

I may be dumb but I’m not a dweeb, just a sucker with low self esteem. --Offspring “Self Esteem”

I will show you fear in a hand filled with dust --TS Eliot

All the world’s a stage, the men and women only players. --Shakespeare

Falling in love is alot like falling off a cliff. Sometimes you see it coming, sometimes it catchs you by surprize, but either way it’s not the fall that kills ya, it’s the sudden stop at the end. --Shawn Orrange

Carve a smile on your face --Mr.Bungle

You know when I was growing up a lot people told me drugs were cool and now that I’m adult I can say....they are. --Marilyn Manson

I never thought anyone would take my theories so much more seriously then I did. --Albert Einstein

For some reason (at school) they’re only interested in teaching me things any fool can look up in a book. --Calvin and Hobbes

I may grow old but I refuse to grow up.

If you go to hell you have nothing to worry about. you’ll be so business shaking hands with old friends you won’t have time to worry. --Adapted from an old Irish Proverb

Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum viditur --Latin for “Everything sound more profound in Latin”

If you commit suicide call me, cause if you ever do anything that stupid I’m going to kill you. --self

Suicide is pretty stupid considering who I am. I’ve never been early for anything in my life I’m not gunna change that when I die. --self

I lost my virginity then someone went and found it. --Shaina Hibert

when god decided to invent; he took one breath bigger then circumstent; and everything began. --ee.cummings

i don’t believe i’m worthy of using capital letters. --ee cumings

If I had four wishes this holiday season first the crap about the kids, then the millions of dollars, then the complete and total power over everything, and THEN I would have one month set aside for one continuous enlongated orgasm. --Steve Martin

Adabadee adabadee --self

Shit happens

If I were to die right now in the morning I’d be dead.

Through me you pass into the city of woe
Through me you pass into eternal pain...
Save things eternal and eternal I endure,
All hope Abandon ye who enter here. --Dante’s Inferno

Never trust a computer that can only count to one. --me (in reference to binary code)

`Is it true David? Is God love?’
`Yeah I guess. he’s kinda everything.’

a revolution is an opinion which has found its bayonets. --Napoleon

I’m a firm believer in the philosphy of a ruling class. Espically since I rule. --Randle graves

It’s all so clear to me now.
I AM THE KEEPER OF THE CHEESE and YOU are the lemon marang! Don’t worry little missy I’ll protect we GOT ta get OUTTA HERE before they let loose the MARMASETTS ON US!!!!!! --Ren and Stimpy

Give me my money back you bitch --Ben Folds Five
Maybe there’s no devil. It’s just God when he’s drunk.

You know people, they’re kinda like flowers and it’s been pleasure kinda pollenatin’ here in your garden.--Lord Buckley

Go back there and give that book store guy some SHIT! --Kevin Smith

Why put off till tommorrow what you can just never do at all? --self

...But ya know after about three months the idiot mode kicks in and I ask about the old boyfriend, always a bad move by the way. --Silent Bob (Kevin Smith)

To live with fear and not be afraid is the final test of maturity. --Edward Weeks

The worst that can be said about pornography is not that it leads to antisocial behavior but that it leads to the reading of more pornography. --Gore Vidal

Glory be to God, who determined, for reason we know not, that wickedness and stupidity should rule the world. --Arthur de Gobineau

Life is doubt, and faith without doubt is nothing but death.

God is dead -Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead -God
--Graffiti on New York Subway 1972

Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well. --Sylvia Plath “Lady Lazarus”

Cocaine isn’t habit forming. I should know, I’ve been doing it for years. --Quoted in Lillian Hellman

I am waiting for them to prove God is an American --Lawrence Ferlinghetti

An apology to the Devil: It must be remembered that we have only heard one side of the case. God has written all the books. --Samuel Butler

If fate means you to lose, give him a good fight anyway. --William McFee

You really can't crack Unix passwords. They use a special one way incryption scheme. --Frank Seesink

"What is, is.
What is not, is not.
Everything else is negotiable."
-- Thomas Weller

"Always yield to the hands-on imperative. Mistrust authority.
Fight the power. Feed the noise back into the system."
-- Mark Dery

"There's nothing wrong with you that some Prozac and
a polo mallet won't cure."
-- Woody Allen

"If everyone could see the things that I hear
A giant box of crayons in my ear..."
-- The Bobs

"The government is a sham, something propped up for you to blame..."
-- J. R. `Bob' Dobbs

"Do not taunt Happy Fun Coder."
-- UseNet wisdom

"A sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
-- Arthur C. Clarke

"One of the unpardonable sins, in the eyes of
most people, is for a man to go about unlabelled.
The world regards such a person as the police
do an unmuzzled dog, not under proper control."
-- T.H. Huxley

"Every soul is worth saving, at least to some old priest,
but not every soul is worth buying. So you can take the
offer as a compliment."
-- William S. Burroughs

"The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted."
-- James Madison

"Insurance is no substitute for a good alarm and a 12-gauge shotgun."
-- Victor Isbecki

"Live our lives, lacking anything better to do.
Devise reason later."
-- Rorschach

"Shut up and don't think so much. Any ten-year old boy knows that
the important thing is to blow stuff up."
-- Frand

"Stretch forth thy hand from on high, rescue me and deliver
me from the many waters, from the hands of aliens, whose mouths
speak lies, and whose right hand is the hand of falsehood."
-- Psalms 144:7